Help me move out into my own

September 2, 2007 at 10:27 pm (Personal)

I might be moving out of my parents’ place. The reasons why I have stayed with them thus far are many and varied. The reasons why I may leave are likewise many and varied.

So, please give me advice on moving out and living by oneself. I have little idea how to even find a place to live. But this will take place, if it takes place, after some time: I need a job first. But once it happens, I want it to come into place within a few days only. My ideal, right now, is a life of utter simplicity.

(If you would like to share your experience of moving out and living by yourself, or of your child moving out and living by himself/herself, please do post it regardless of instructional value.)

BTW: I am a few years older than 25.



  1. lovesleftovers said,

    I’d be interested in knowing how old you are since you don’t mention it. Living with your parents when your forty or moving out when your seventeen could alter opinions greatly.

  2. Wickedpinto said,

    I’m still with a parent myself, for a very easy reason. I’m a transient, and an unfocused doofus.

    Anyways, that shouldn’t detract from my advice.

    Make sure you have next to no bills: Rent, phone, puter, TV if you are that kinda guy, electricity, water (gas, if it’s available, and not consolidated into a single bill)

    And don’t spend money, even for my random and brief periods on my own (cuz it was generaly unnecessary, cuz I am a transient) Treat yourself on occassion, but treat your less expensive hobbies (I get the idea you are a reader. Read, don’t build a lifestyle you don’t need) Buy at JC Penny’s rather than Liz Claiborne (yes there are male shirts and pants made by claiborne) and if you don’t like the way shelf clothes look on you, do sit-ups.

    Don’t buy a new car, when a car 5 years old will do just as well (and won’t have to go through any unannounced recall’s)

    Sleep, Alot.

    Not just cuz you are tired, but the creative shit flows like heroine through the veins of washed up musicians when you maintain the uncomfortable balance of sleep and consciousness.

    Most important.

    Unless you are married and have a child, or children, do not buy anything that is more than your basic living needs. If you are married, and do have children, do not buy anymore than what you absolutely need right now. The only thing you should have extra of, in ANY residence, is STORAGE. Living space is a commodity that is unreliable, storage space costs next to nothing, and is an advantage because you get to fill it up with stuff that is more valuable than what is holding it.

  3. Michael said,

    Maintain a healthy diet. If you’ve been dependent on Mom’s cooking for 25 years, you need to learn how to cook something and feed yourself decent food when you move out. Worst thing you can do is to start living on Coke and potato chips.

  4. S. Weasel said,

    If finances are an issue, the deposits on stuff are murder. But in the long term, it’s the monthly bills that kill the budget. Keep recurring expenses to a minimum.

    Seems elementary, but sit down and make a little list of all your expenses, and then all your income. Do this often until life hasn’t handed you any surprises in a while. I’m amazed how many people never did this. They should teach it in high school!

    There are these magical places called public libraries where they’ll let you read books totally free. Before the internet, I had half a dozen library cards.

    Your first apartment all by yourself is great. Scary, but great. As is your first house all by your self. Your first house owned jointly…ummm…I’ll get back to you in a year…

  5. Wickedpinto said,

    S. Weasel,

    For me, books are an investment, you OWN knowledge, I like that concept. It’s my only. . . . one of my few. . . many, okay. . . well


  6. Wickedpinto said,

    Seems elementary, but sit down and make a little list of all your expenses, and then all your income.

    That also works, if you wanna ween yourself from any habit.
    Keeping a record log, not only shows you what you are doing, but also, enforces a sense of tedium that forces you to not wanna be a part of it anymore.

    I learned that with smoking (a couple of the times I quit, (I quit for months, and one time years, so it counts) and my buddy did it with gas. He would write down how much gas he got, and how much gas he used, and finaly he decided it was better to live in a coffin in lincoln park than to commute from portage.

    Any behaviour you think you want to change, it’s best to study it, thats GREAT advice.

  7. nicedeb said,

    You already say you want a life of utter simplicity. That should make it easy for you.

    I hope you don’t have expensive tastes. When you yourself are paying all the bills, you’ll find that sometimes you have to lower your standards a little from what you’re used to.

    Buy generic.

    For example, Advil= Ibuprofen. You can almost always find the ‘equivalent’ item at a much cheaper rate. That goes for your groceries, too. When it comes to food, sometimes name brands are better. You’ll just have to use trial and error. I always buy generic canned veggies. Oh! Buy fresh fruits and veggies in season. Tomatoes in January are going to cost you about $3 or more a pound. Right now, you can get them for 99cents a pound. Also, try to buy stuff when it’s on sale. I try not to pay full price on anything.

    I’m notoriously cheap. I have six kids, and we haven’t always had a lot of money. I learned to be very frugal.

  8. dicentra said,

    Never, EVER, rent an apartment with electric baseboard heating. Anything north of the 30th parallel will run you up to $700 per month in winter (or more). Gas or oil is the only way to go.

    You can get decent furniture at a goodwill store (bury your nose in the upholstery first), but don’t drag something off the curb. The rain will have gotten into the stuffing and the mold will make you sick.

    If the building doesn’t have an elevator, imagine carrying a couch up the stairs, then decide if you really want to live that high up.

    Get renter’s insurance if it seems like a good idea.

    I’ll think of more later.

  9. Wickedpinto said,

    I left something out of the storage recommendation.

    If you chose to store stuff you want to keep in a rental storage, you should deck your storage.

    Basicaly a 2 X 4 frame, covered in 3/8 fiberboard. Removes the likeliehood of water damage.

  10. JackStraw said,

    Trust yourself. Simpliest thing to say, hardest thihg to do.

    You’re a bright guy. You’ll make a bunch of mistakes, we all do, but you’ll be just fine.

    And you are going to love it.

  11. harrison said,

    Budget-wise rule of thumb: If you can’t pay your rent in no more than one week’s wages, you can’t afford to live alone. You may need a roommate.
    It’s something I’ve found true over the years.
    Good luck!

  12. Wickedpinto said,

    Yeah, jack is right, you know what suits you, and wat doesn’t.

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