Arabs and South Asians

July 17, 2006 at 5:45 am (Arab society, Personal, South Asia)

My mother just told me of an incident I thought would be educational to share. But, first, a warning: the following post may be considered racist and offensive. I am sharing this to offer some indication of how inter-racial interactions can be like and how certain ethnicities are prejudiced against others. Please do not continue if you think you might be offended.

So, my mother and father and their friends are walking around while on vacation, seeing the sights, during a tour. In front of them is an Arab family. They say something, and my mother catches a word, “Hindi,” which is what Arabs use to refer to South Asians. My mother’s group was the only South Asian group around.

This sort of behind-their-back commenting, my mother doesn’t like at all. She’s usually quiet and tolerant, but comments like these make her want to say something, and sometimes she does.

So, she told the Arab family that she understands Arabic. (This was out of courtesy so they watch their tongues, and to make them aware that they shouldn’t be so derogatory as the target of their remarks just might understand what they’re saying.) Then she said to them, “Kayfa haalak,” meaning “How are you?”

The boy, who was about thirteen years old, turned and said: “Kalba.”

My mother became furious. She started scolding him and giving him a piece of her mind. Her friends had to physically restrain her from slapping the boy (or worse). Once the boy’s father realized what was going on, he removed his son and scolded him. But the damage had been done. My mother tried to be polite, and the young boy responded with an insult. It’s one thing to insult someone you know, but to insult a stranger is the height of ill-manners. As we would be wont to interpret it, a child’s comments and attitudes reflect what he sees, hears, and learns at home. As offensive as his behavior was, it reflects what sort of environment he may have grown up in.

“Kalba” in Arabic means “dog.”

When she told us this, I was the only one among her children who understood what “kalba” meant – even my sister, who has Arab friends, didn’t know what it meant. (I know it because it is a cognate for the Hebrew word for dog, “kelev”. Both share the same root letters.) Had I been there with my mother, I would have certainly exploded and given the boy and his parents a piece of my mind. An offended woman is dangerous to behold, but the child of an offended woman is a different threat all together.

Unfortunately, South Asians have come to expect such behavior from Arabs. In our experience, we have never encountered such a stuck-up, uncultured, proud, ill-mannered, rude, insulting, and obnoxious people. My father has worked extensively with Arabs over the past decade, and he has nothing positive to say about them. In his opinion, Arabs are one of the least cultured and civilized race on earth. I could go on and on and on about them, but I won’t.

I have explanations as to why Arabs are this way – and it has nothing to do with racial inferiority or superiority. But that’s a post for another day. I just thought it would be educational for people to be aware of how some ethnicities interact. And to explain that if in my posts I seem biased against Arabs, it’s perhaps an ethnic thing. South Asians are not fond of Arabs at all. I have yet to meet a full Arab I liked. (I knew a half-Palestinian half-American guy who was really nice. But he was raised more as an American than an Arab anyway.)

I recognize that there must be nice, good Arabs out there. I’ve heard Lebanese are cool, as are Jordanians (real Jordanians, not Palestinian-Jordanians). But I haven’t met any good or nice Arabs yet.

Um, I don’t want to be any more offensive, but I have a term I sometimes use to refer to Arabs. Depending on how it is said, it can be something Arabs can be proud of or something by which they will feel offended. I call them “oonT ke awlaad” (Hindi: ऊन्ट के औलाद; Urdu: اونٹ کے اولاد). It means “the offspring of camels.” Camels have a very different reputation among South Asians than it does among Arabs. In South Asian culture, camels are considered to be uncivilized (as in, absent where civilization usually springs up), stubborn, dirty, foul, and low-class. The strange thing is that in a culture where politness is valued, no has corrected me for saying it or objected when I’ve said it. People laugh. Some nod their head. Some say nothing. Most will smile.

I recognize my biases and prejudices. They don’t rob me of any sleep (even though the politically correct world would think they should). I make no apologies: I believe what I believe unless convinced otherwise. I have yet to be convinced otherwise.