Accompanying women

July 8, 2006 at 3:34 am (Culture, Personal, South Asia)

In our culture, it is considered wrong for a woman to go anywhere without an escort. This may include a group of friends (all women, of course), certain male relations (father, brother, son, uncle, et cetera), or a mixture of the two. The preferred is a close male relation.

This continues even here in America. If my mother has to go somewhere and I am available, it is my duty to go with her. When we go out as a family and my mother or sister has to go somewhere, one of us men must go with them. Now, this is America. No one is going to mess with women, tease them – there’s no reason for us to tag along. But we do anyway.

One exception: my mother liked getting something from a restaurant where men mainly gathered – single men, taxi drivers, that sort of crowd. She would never go without a male. Now, if she goes with a son, there is only so much we could do. These are mostly grown men, after all. But having a male by her side makes all the difference in the world. The fact she’s accompanied by someone male shows what type of person the woman is, according to conventional wisdom: the common assumption is that only loose women travel without an escort.

I told Feisty on another thread: “In the Old Country, we don’t trust in the law or courts. A man who torments a woman who has male protectors often finds himself quite injured or dead.” This also plays a role. A woman with a male escort is a dangerous target, because if need be the male may turn lethal. And if he does kill someone, society will not blame him. South Asian society at least.

Besides, who’s going to carry the bags and stuff? Men make good bag-holders and chauffeurs.

The funny thing? I have noticed that violence-wise, men are bad. But intimidation? Hoooooboy. Women have no competition. My mother can strike fear into any man’s heart – and she has at times. My observation is that women can be just as, if not more, fierce as men if they believe there’s reason to be.

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous said,

    While my closest friend is female, I have close, non-romantic relationships with several males, and work with nearly all males. I can’t imagine being condemned to spend practically all my time with women.

    Also, men make good chauffeurs only if the car in question is not a Corvette, in which case I’m afraid I’d have to insist on driving.

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