Our Overlord, Dread Lord Karl Rove — known with great honor and awe by His many Republican minions as “Darth Lord Rovius”, “The Dark Lord” and “The Dark Lord of the Sith” –, has announced He shall resign at the end of August.
All the peoples of the world have broken out in gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, donning sackcloth and sprinkling of ashes. Our grief is inexpressable.
After leading the American Empire for so long, to whom shall we turn for guidance, leadership, and orders? Who shall dictate our every move? Who will control the weather, unleashing powerful hurricanes against decadent cities and flooding their unused busses (buses?)?
Oh, woe is (are?) us!
And the most pressing concern: shall He reveal His apprentice or keep his identity secret? Only time (and our Dread Lord, The Dark Lord of the Sith) will tell.